How to See Clearly When You’re Worried

It’s difficult to maintain sanity and clarity when you’re worried. Sadly, there’s always something to worry about: health, job, relationships, finances, and so on. In this weak economy, many employed people try to dodge layoffs like a squirrel dodges traffic at a busy intersection. They worry they’ll get run over by the next round of layoffs they didn’t see coming. Unemployed people worry they lack enough financial nuts to make it through a bleak, jobless winter.

We can manage our fears and worries in a variety of ways, but there is a type of worrying, a cascading chain of worries, that is particularly troublesome.

Cascading Chain of Worries

A cascading chain of worries starts as a single, simple worry, but then snowballs into a series of worries that get progressively worse. For example, if you are worried about being fired, you may create a cascading chain like this

• I’m fired, so ↓
• I can’t find another job, so ↓
• I can’t pay for my son’s college tuition, so ↓
• My son drops out of school, so ↓
• He never gets a good job, so ↓
• He hates his life, so ↓
• He blames me, so ↓
• He hates me and never speaks to me again

Through this series of worries, you went from being fired to your son hating you and never speaking to you again. This may seem ridiculous when you look at it in isolation, but it seems very real when you lay awake at 3am replaying this scenario over and over. We need some way to handle these cascading chains of worries.

Working With a Cascading Chain of Worries

I found an excellent method for working with a cascading chain of worries in Chapter 8 of The Resilience Factor: 7 Keys to Finding Your Inner Strength and Overcoming Life’s Hurdles by Karen Reivich and Andrew Shatte. This is an superb book on resilience that I read several years ago. I highly recommend it.

The main idea is to logically analyze our beliefs so that we can see reality more clearly. We fill in a predefined table by going through a series of steps:

1. Define worst-case beliefs
2. Calculate the likelihood of each belief
3. Define best-case beliefs
4. Define likely outcomes
5. Create solutions

Let’s go step-by-step through one example that recently happened to me.

Step 1 – Define Worst-Case Beliefs

Two weeks ago, I hurt my back while using the back exercise machine at our local YMCA. I’ve hurt my back several times before, but this was much worse than usual and I could barely walk or stand. All I could do was lie with my back on the floor and, even then, I was still in pain.

When I first hurt my back, I created the cascading chain of worries you see below. I went through a series of worries that took me from a painful back to dying from outside exposure.

Step 1 is to write down the series of worries. Even this helps reduce your worry because it’s easier to see how unlikely the final outcome is when you can read all the steps.

Step 2 – Calculate the Likelihood of Each Belief

Step 2 is to calculate the likelihood of each belief. The “I hurt my back and I’m in a lot of pain” worry already happened, so it’s likelihood is a certainty, 100%. I researched the web and learned my odds of my back not getting better in a month are 1 in 5.

I estimated that “I’m in constant pain” to be 1 in 100 because the doctor can prescribe pain medication if necessary. I would have to be in such pain that pain medication failed to work to be the 1 in 100.

I continued estimating the likelihood of the other beliefs based on my instincts. You can see the results in the table below.

It’s important to realize that each estimate is based on the other worries that preceded it. For instance, the national average for divorce is much higher than 1 in 100,000, but I’m estimating the probability that my wife will divorce me because I’m broke and not for any other reason.

Step 3 – Define Best-Case Beliefs

Step 3 is to define a series of base-case beliefs. In my case, my back heals completely, I write a best-selling book, and I’m happy. This seems pretty unlikely, but you should feel free to create the most optimistic outcome imaginable. If the best-case beliefs are a little silly, you’ll lighten your mood which helps you gain perspective. It also helps relax you for the next step.

Step 4 – Define Likely Outcomes

Step 4 is to define realistic outcomes. I’ve had this type of back pain before and so I think I’ll ultimately recover, start working, and be happy.

Step 5 – Create Solutions

Step 5 is to create solutions to increase the odds of a positive outcome. In my case, I start a home rehabilitation program defined by the Mayo-Clinic. I also make plans to see a doctor after four weeks which is recommended by the Mayo-Clinic if my back doesn’t improve.

The final table helps me see more clearly and worry less. I see the likely outcome is good and I have a plan to improve my odds.

This method works well, but it takes significant time to create the chart and write everything down. It’s worth doing at least one time or if you’re really worried.

You may be less worried most of the time. In that case, you can do a simplified method where you skip step 2 and do everything in your head. This is fast and easy. Don’t use a backhoe when all you need is a small shovel.

In case you’re wondering, my back is about 70% better now. I can take 30 minute walks and sit for short periods of time. I hope to fully recover in a couple more weeks.

Have you ever had a cascading chain of worries? Do you think this method can help you?

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Tags: Anxiety, Fear, Psychology