Meditation for Beginners (Week 4) - Loving-Kindness Meditation

This post is part of a series of posts on meditation for beginners. The Introduction contains links to the entire series. I recommend you read the series in order if you want to start meditating.

Last week, you studied and practiced insight meditation. Ann Elise at Ann Elise Mitchell has begun following this tutorial with a 30-day meditation commitment. Jay at Porsidan has continued following this tutorial and has posted his latest experiences. I’ve excerpted some quotes from Jay’s post and added my comments below.

…It was still really hard to keep the thoughts away when I let go of the counting, but when that happened, I went back and started counting again…

Neither Jay nor you should try to block your thoughts. Just let them come and they’ll pass. You’ll recognize that you’re having thoughts BEHIND the counting. It feels like you’re observing or monitoring your thoughts instead of engaging your thoughts.

…My nose started itching, and I was able to pay attention to it for a few moments, acknowledge it, and then let it go…

Jay recognized that his physical sensations are also just thoughts. This is a useful lesson and you can apply it when you feel pain while you’re meditating.

…Every now and then, I’ll catch myself trying extra hard to pay attention to whatever it is I’m doing…

Jay is experiencing brief periods of mindfulness outside of meditation. This happens to everybody who meditates well, but usually takes a few months to develop. You won’t have to try — it’ll just happen automatically.

This week, you’ll meditate using loving-kindness meditation. The purpose of loving-kindness meditation is to increase your sense of empathy and kindness towards yourself and others.

Pick a Mantra

You must pick a mantra that you’ll say aloud during loving-kindness meditation. The traditional Tibetan mantra is om mani padme hung which translates to “The jewel is in the lotus.” The jewel refers to wisdom and compassion and the lotus refers to you. In other words, the wisdom and compassion you seek is already in you. You can use the official pronunciation or my pronunciation:

http://acontentlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/ommanipadmehung.mp3

Alternatively, you can also use an English mantra:

May I be filled with loving-kindness
May I be well
May I be peaceful and at ease
May I be happy

You’ll begin with “I” in the mantra and replace it with other people or groups as you repeat the chant. For instance, suppose you have a friend, Mary, and you want want to project loving-kindness towards her. The mantra would change to the following:

May Mary be filled with loving-kindness
May Mary be well
May Mary be peaceful and at ease
May Mary be happy

You can do a similar substitution for a group of people. For instance, you could substitute “my co-workers” for “I”:

May my co-workers be filled with loving-kindness
May my co-workers be well
May my co-workers be peaceful and at ease
May my co-workers be happy

If you don’t like either of these mantras, you can make up your own mantra. Keep it simple and easy to remember. It can be a phrase or a small group of unrelated sounds.

I use “om mani padme hung” as my mantra because I like the soothing way the sound resonates through my body. It feels right to me.

Pick an Image of Unconditional Love

You must also pick and visualize an image that represents unconditional love to you. For instance, you could pick Buddha, Jesus, Mary, a personal saint or angel, your own spiritual teacher, or even a parent. It should be an image that you can visualize and feel gratitude, trust, faith and devotion towards. I use the Buddha.

Chant and Project Loving-Kindness

You’re ready to do loving-kindness meditation. Please follow these steps:

1. Assume your normal meditation posture. This is the same posture you’ve been using for focused or insight meditation.
2. Close your eyes and visualize your image of unconditional love. Focus on the image and experience all your good feelings about it. Do this for about a minute.
3. Recite your chant aloud. At the same time, project a feeling of loving-kindness towards yourself. You can’t be kind to others unless you first learn to be kind to yourself. Then project it to somebody close to you. Pick another person and project it towards that person. Continue projecting your loving-kindness to a specific person or group of people. At end of the meditation, project your loving-kindness to all people on the planet.

When you start out, stick with people you already feel good about. You should gradually add people you feel indifferent towards. For instance, you may feel neutral towards your mailman or a co-worker.

As you progress with this practice, you should start adding people that you dislike or are angry with. You aren’t necessarily forgiving the person. You’re simply recognizing that all human beings deserve happiness and peace.

You must be careful to project empathy and not sympathy. Empathy creates a feeling of connectedness between you and the other person. You are him and he is you. Sympathy, on the other hand, creates a feeling separateness. You feel thankful you’re not experiencing his suffering rather than a connection.

Loving-kindness meditation is my favorite meditation because it has an immediate impact on relationships with yourself and others. You’ll feel a connection with others and less lonely. You may even feel more affinity towards people you dislike.

This Week’s Assignment

Your assignment this week is to practice loving-kindness meditation everyday. Do five to ten minutes of loving-kindness meditation followed by ten to fifteen minutes of focused and/or insight meditation. As I always say, the time is less important than the consistency and quality of your meditation.

It’s important to me that you learn to meditate. Please leave a comment or send a confidential email (roger at acontentlife.com) with any questions, problems, or observations. I’m here to help.

Related posts:

1. Meditation for Beginners (Week 6) – Next Steps
2. Meditation for Beginners (Week 5) – Walking Meditation
3. Meditation for Beginners (Week 1) – Introduction
4. Meditation for Beginners (Week 2) – Focused Meditation
5. Meditation for Beginners (Week 3) – Insight Meditation

Tags: Habits, Meditation