Yesterday, I returned from my niece’s wedding in beautiful Charleston, South Carolina. The wedding was in a small white chapel designed only for weddings. I was there with my wife, Lisa, my siblings, and about sixty other guests.
The formal wedding begins with the bridesmaids walking down the center isle followed by my pretty niece carrying the traditional bouquet of flowers. She looks so young. Her fiancé is the dress whites of a Naval Officer. He looks poised and relaxed.
The minister begins the ceremony with a prayer for all the people that couldn’t attend this joyous wedding. I think of my dead parents and wish they could be with us. They would have enjoyed watching a granddaughter be married to such a handsome man. I feel sad.
The ceremony continues with matching “I do”s, a magical kiss, pictures, floating bubbles, and the newlyweds departing by horse and carriage for the reception.
The reception is in a small second story hall with a glass wall that faces the Charleston harbor. The view is exceptional with small boats and large container ships regularly passing. I sit at a table with my closest relatives and look around.
I contemplate all the other weddings I’ve attended. I sat in my brother’s wedding when I was about seven years old. He was a Sergeant on leave from a tour in Vietnam. He wore his dress uniform and I remember him walking down the isle in shiny black shoes.
I went to my sister’s wedding when I was fifteen. I remember the reception at my Dad’s country club. It was an extravagant layout of food, but I felt uncomfortable in a suit.
I remember my own wedding in the golden-domed County Courthouse of Hendersonville, North Carolina. My wife stood in her homemade wedding dress with only my parents and a friend present. A judge married us so fast that I barely had time to become nervous.
I remember my other niece’s wedding followed by my nephew’s wedding. Geez, I remember when these people were born and now they have children of their own. I realize I’m a Great Uncle and it makes me feel old.
The pace of our lives is measured by great events – deaths, births, marriages. In retrospect, it all seems to happen so fast. Time doesn’t march forward; it runs at top speed.
I realize that in 100 years all the people I see at this reception will be gone. They’ll be nothing but ashes, dust, or bones. Change and mortality are inevitable. It’s a sobering thought.
I return to the present moment of the reception. Dinner is over and I see the younger people dancing with sensuous pleasure. Their bodies vibrate to the beat of the music. They look very happy and contented. They’re in the here and now.
The young people dancing have the right idea. I realize we can’t take life for granted. That every moment is precious and must be lived and appreciated to the fullest. I happily talk to my Aunt Janet, Uncle Bill, my brother Terry, and my sister Beverly. I stand on the balcony and watch the ships pass. I eat wedding cake. I dance with my attractive wife, Lisa. I’m happy just to be here.
Change is inevitable, but each moment is precious and unique. The only way to build your life is on a foundation of accumulated present moments. Are you present for your moments?
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Tags: Mindfulness
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Beautiful…well said.
I’m so present, I’m even present for YOURS! This was lovely… I felt like I was right there with you… aging as I read. OK, that last part wasn’t so lovely, but it’s still true.
I’m glad you danced. Good for you!
@Jay: Thanks!
@Lisis: Hey…go find your own moments!
I loved the dance with LIsa. The whole trip was interesting. We also toured downtown Charleston, Fort Sumter, and a working plantation.
Live in the now! Yes! It’s so easy to get caught up in the future and what will or won’t be, but, as you’ve said in this post, it’s so important to focus on the present and be here now.
Postively Present (aka Dani),
It is very easy to focus on the past and future, but it’s mostly pointless. Besides being mindful is more fun!
Congratulations to your niece and such a beautiful occasion! Charleston is a beautiful place.
You were down in my neck of the woods! I live about 20 miles from Charleston, up in Summerville, SC.
Living in the now my wife and I had a simple little ceremony beside the pond of a park in North Charleston. It was the two of us and the officiant and that was it.
Live in the now, or the present moment for that is all we truly have. We can “miss” those moments because we are caught up in our own what should/will/was/could have been’s/etc. All of that is imaginary, only the the here and now…the tangible present is truly real. We are still connected to the past and the future but that is all it is, a connection. For we are here and living in the present. No matter what happens that is where we will always be.
Sean,
It’s a small world…I was close to you.
Your wedding sounds as small as mine. I liked our small wedding, but sometimes I wish we had a bigger wedding.
I couldn’t describe living in the now better than you just did. I particularly liked “We are still connected to the past and the future but that is all it is, a connection.”
Roger,
I love that part of the country. Charleston and Hendersonville are both fond memories.
I find it easy to be present in the moment when there are such important moments, like weddings. It’s the eveyday moments that tend to escape me.
Roger,
This was beautifully written, and I love the way your memories of the weddings in your life played out as you watched this one. You lived consciously through this wedding, I would say. And I’m privileged to be able to share your experiences vicariously through this post.
@Ann Elise: That’s true…it is easier to be present at big events like weddings. I guess it also made me reflect on the past.
@Daphne: Thank you for the kind words!
Hi Roger,
Sounds like you had a great time and were in the moment too. As for me, I try to be in the moment as much as I can. Some days it is easier than others but I always try. Life is too short not to!
Nadia,
Yep…the wedding and whole trip was fun! I try to do the same thing, but I still have plenty of room for improvement.